Not All Desperate Situations Require Desperate Measures

A skilled dancer has the ability to recognize the appropriate moment to exit the stage, whereas I am not as skilled since I tend to linger. This tendency to linger is not unique to me, as many people struggle with leaving situations, particularly in their career or relationships. The fear of losing something valuable often outweighs the potential benefits of moving on. The prospect of leaving behind a part of oneself and starting over can be daunting. 

Despite being in a toxic relationship where I was mistreated and saw red flags, I still clung to it. It felt like being imprisoned, with my partner controlling my phone usage and prohibiting me from having male contacts. Even though I felt trapped, I was still desperate to hold onto the relationship, and my life revolved around him. He had freedom, while I was confined to our living space. During the relationship, I lost many of my friendships.

Recently, I was reminded of a time when I had no control over my life and was constantly living in the shadow of others. I felt like I had no say in anything concerning myself and was expected to follow the commands of those who I believed were wiser than me. I was unable to make decisions or think for myself without consulting others. Sadly, there are still women who find themselves in similar situations without even realizing it. While I might refer to it as a stage, not everyone goes through it, and it is disheartening to think about the worst things that some women endure in hopes of a future reward. 

The concept of women empowerment emerged as a response to these types of situations, with the goal of encouraging women to have independent minds and be self-sufficient. However, it is discouraging to see that not all women have been able to embrace this movement due to their upbringing or societal pressures.

Typically, I take public transport home after work, but occasionally a friend will offer me a ride. On one particular Friday, I asked for a ride without realizing that my friend had other places to go. I wish he had informed me of this when I initially requested the ride, but unfortunately, he did not.

After waiting for about half an hour while my friend completed his errands, we finally set off for home. However, to my surprise, he took a different route and mentioned that he needed to pay some bills before dropping me off. I felt deeply irritated and disrespected by his lack of communication regarding the change in route. While I could have chosen to accompany him if I were in dire need of a ride, I had other alternatives available to me and his offer was not my only option.

What would have been my options if I didn’t have any other means of transportation? Would I have had to accompany my friend and wait while he finished his errands? That is a possibility. It saddens me to think of women who have to wait for hours, unable to be productive, just to obtain something they need.

Women should strive to be more self-sufficient and avoid being overly dependent on others. Some men may take advantage of women in desperate situations for their own benefit. It’s important to do what works best for you but also establish clear boundaries for others to respect. Not all desperate situations require desperate measures.



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