Those days a friend was someone you played with, ate lunch or supper with, went to the market or shop with, got firewood with, fetched water with ,gossiped with ,the list is pretty long. Making sure at least your mother(s) knew each other. Otherwise it was not right to associate with your family’s enemies.
We used to save money during the start of the month of December then on Christmas day we bought ourselves anything from clothes to snacks(though we were not calling them snacks then). So, on one of the December holidays I and a friend of mine, let’s call her Biti, decided to save money. Biti was the treasurer.
Unfortunately, the day before Christmas my parents decided we visit our grandparents. That meant we would not continue with our plan. I left Biti with the money. Coming back from my grandparents’ home, I found out that Biti used all the money we had saved. I got disappointed and angry at her having trusted her with my money.
Am not the kind of person to scold and confront people so I went silent on her. No apologies no anything from her. That was the end of the friendship(RIP).
Years passed and a point reached when my dad decided no inviting or visiting friends. It was a rule which was to be followed. No negotiation on terms. One day my brother broke the rule by inviting his friend not knowing that that day dad was to return from work early. When my dad arrived home, he got into the house and seeing my brother’s friend he commanded, “Wuogka Omera!(Get out of here)”. The whole house turned red. I felt the words on me too. And fear crept in. My brother and the friend got out of the house silently. He took the friend to the gate then returned.
I never invited people to my home because putting your friend into such would be embarrassing. Friendship took less of my attention ever since and when I made friends, I never bothered keeping them. It has never changed. I still struggle with keeping friends.
Three years ago I screwed a friendship by spilling my friend’s secret to her brother. My friend needed medication (she was having a Sexually Transmitted Disease and a growth in the uterus which she had been treating by herself) and was afraid to tell her responsible brother. Because she thought she was asking for too much and giving nothing in return being that her campus academic progress was not impressive. Being that the brother was the one paying for her school fees. Clearly she needed serious attention. I decided to tell the brother everything and she was not happy about it. She went silent on me(RIP another friendship). Even though I did ask for forgiveness and she forgave me, the friendship is not as it was back then.
How have you managed keeping the friends you have ? Comment down below. Share the tips.