Believe it or not, sometimes love can get lost in translation. Let me explain. There are 5 love languages. The love languages are ways of expressing and receiving love. In The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman, Ph.D describes these love languages. If you do not know your partner’s love language, they might end up not feeling loved and you may feel as if he/she is not appreciating your efforts.
Here are the 5 love languages:
Words of Affirmation
This love language covers people who prefer verbal affirmations, appreciation and compliments. They want to hear “I love you” often. A simple “Thank you for taking out the trash” could go a long way in this relationship. It’s the simple things that matter. Compliment the way they are dressed, build their confidence before a big presentation or send them a morning text wishing them a beautiful day. Hearing these things makes them feel loved and appreciated.
Acts of Service
Acts of service include cooking when your partner is sick, fueling the car, paying the bills among others. If this is your language, you believe that actions speak louder than words. You prefer when your partner does things that make your life easier. That’s why you’ll hear someone say “I don’t understand why he says that he loves me but he does nothing to help me.” According to this person, the love does not translate into action so it is easy to feel unappreciated, question the relationship and the partner’s intentions.
Giving gifts is a universal expression of love. However, to some people, this is their main way of expressing and receiving love. So, if this is your partner’s love language, you can make them feel loved by giving meaningful and thoughtful gifts. They do not have to be expensive. They can be as simple as flowers, a homemade card or something to commemorate your first date. Don’t forget that this is also how they express their love. So don’t feel cheapened when they buy you gifts**
If this is your partners love language, then one of the most profound ways of expressing your love is by giving them your undivided attention. Have meaningful conversations with eye contact and active listening. You can even do recreational activities such as hiking and painting. Just give them undivided attention. Remove all distractions such as your phones and the TV.
This is said to stem from childhood. Before children understand love, we show them by holding them tenderly. Some people carry this to adulthood. They feel loved through physical contact. This does not necessarily excessive PDA. They just want to feel the warmth and comfort that comes physical touch. So hold hands, kiss, cuddle, have sex or give massages. They just want to feel you close by.